Posted on September 6th, 2011 by Colin and is posted in Interviews
I am very pleased to share with you today’s expert – someone I’ve known for many years and have lot respect for – David Shephard - www.performancepartnership.com
This interview follows a blog post I wrote called, “7 Of The Best Ways To Clear Limiting Beliefs –Forever.” One of the 7 best ways is a discipline called Neuro Linguistic Programming.
David is the founder of The Performance Partnership Limited and he’s been running NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner Certifications since 1994. He has trained Trainer’s of NLP since 1995 and well over 1000 people have David’s signature on their NLP Trainer Certificate!
In this interview (Podcast, Video or Transcript), David uses a table metaphor to explain how beliefs are structured. You can find this metaphor explained in more detail in the Beliefs chapter of Tony Robbins book, “Awaken The Giant Within. If you’ve not read it, I high recommend it.
1. How Would You Know If It’s Not True
2. For Who Isn’t It True?
3. When Wasn’t It True For You?
4. In What Ways Do You Know It’s Not True Now?
5. What Do You Want To Believe Instead?
6. In How Many Ways Do You Know That’s Already True?
Watch David artfully knock the certainty out of one of my limiting beliefs using these six belief busting questions. If you are in a hurry, fast forward the video to 20:40 to watch the power of these questions and my limiting belief being taken out!
For those of you who are Practitioners of NLP, David gives us a wonderful lesson in the mastery of conversational change. I challenge you to look for all the language patterns David employs to shift my limiting belief. Even though this is an interview, he begins to prepare my unconscious mind for change way before he gets to the belief busting questions! Let David know what you see and hear in the comments at the end of the interview. He looks forward to seeing what you pick up.
Enjoy – and please remember to give it some Facebook love!
To your happiness and success.
Colin (aka The Midlife Maverick)
Colin: Welcome to this next call in the series I’m calling, “Meet the Experts.” A little while ago I wrote a blog post, which was entitled, “7 Of The Best Ways To Clear Limiting Beliefs –Forever.” One of those techniques or disciplines was NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming.
I thought it would be a great idea to give someone that I’ve known for an awful long time‑‑I think we go back to 1995 around that time that I first met David when I had a lot more hair and a lot less wrinkles. We had just started our little business; “Speakers International” and David came in to talk to us about NLP and about NLP training. David had just started his business then, “Performance Partnership.” Since then we’ve established quite a strong relationship. David came in and trained all of our trainers on NLP, on Practitioner, Master Practitioner and also some very bespoke training.
I’ve also sat in David’s audiences on a couple of occasions for some of the programs that he’s written. He’s also written a book, “Presenting Magically” I think the title is which I do have and I’ve read that as well. So I’m very excited to have David on to talk to us about NLP and take us just into NLP a little bit deeper and share a little bit more than I actually covered in the blog post. So, welcome David.
David: Hi Colin. How are you?
Colin: Very good, thank you. How are you?
David: I’m very well, thank you.
David: It’s a nice sunny day here in London actually.
Colin: Perfect, well we got a nice sunny day here in Spain as well.
David: I know you have.
Colin: Yes, I should have said, “And it’s raining here in Spain.” Would you believe it?
David: I can see the sun on your face.
Colin: Yeah, shining in through the window. Why don’t we start by you sharing a little bit about yourself and your journey as to how did you come across NLP; where were you in that time in your life?
David: When I first came across NLP I think it was in 1990. I used to work in the city. I used to work for Reuters Trading Room Systems. I got a point in my life where I don’t want to work for a big employer anymore; I want to have my own business. In 1990 I bought a franchise from a management consultancy firm called, “Center For Consultancy.” Part of that franchise package was that they taught you how to become a management consultant essentially, part of that being how do you sell consultancy services. I think it was something like a seven‑day training program or something like that. One of those days was on this thing called NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming; I never heard of it ever before.
I remember seeing this really cheesy American 1980′s style sales training video where everybody is wearing brown suits and big Kipper ties and all this kind of stuff. It was teaching some real basic NLP rapport techniques. I just loved it. I went to the trainer and said, “Where do I find out more about this?” He said, “Well, I’m only aware of one book really.” which was Tony Robbin’s, “Unlimited Power.”
I went down to my local smiths or whatever; never heard of it. I found that you could only get “Unlimited Power” from a mail order company. You couldn’t get it from a mainstream bookshop. It arrived in plain, brown, paper wrapping so that nobody would know that you bought a weird kind of NLP book.
I read this book, and I just devoured it; I thought it was phenomenal. As a result of reading that I decided that management consultancy and IT and marketing wasn’t really what I wanted to do. Part of the franchise package was that I’ve gotten an achievement coach. Again this was a very forward‑looking company; 1990, I had a coach.
So what I decided then was that I wanted to do coaching. I transferred my franchise to, “The Center for Achievement”, which is a coaching organization, and learned how to become a coach, but they didn’t do NLP.
I was getting more and more into NLP. I read all of the Bandler and Grinder books and all this kind of this. Eventually I decided that NLP was where I wanted to go. I left that franchise and set up another company, which was called, “Up International” which was one of the first companies in the UK to do fire walk seminars around overcoming fear and changing beliefs and all this kind of thing. Then I discovered that I was an absolutely dreadful presenter. That I couldn’t sell for toffee and I had no clue how run a business, but I had found out what I wanted to do which was NLP.
In 1993, I decided I better become formally trained in this, so I did my practitioner training in Southern California. The style of training I wanted to get you couldn’t get in the U.K. It was a training involving pre‑study from listening to tapes. It also included this thing called Timeline Therapy. It also included hypnosis. I just wanted to learn NLP to be able to run the best sales trainings on the planet. I thought NLP was solution to that, the key to that.
But my experiences on that practitioner training so rocked my world, so changed my ideas about what was possible, that I went to the guy who was running the training, Ted James who’s a friend of mine now, and said “What do I need to do to be able to bring this style of training to the UK, because the experience that I’ve had, I think everybody should be able to have this experience.”
And he said nobody had ever asked him before. So give him a couple of days, he’d think about it, which he did, came back to me and he gave me this huge long list of things I’d have to do. I got no money. I’d lost all my money on the previous businesses, all that kind of thing. So, I had no clue how I was going to do it. But I just heard my mouth open and went “OK, I’ll do it.” That took me about a year to get all the training in place and all the other things in place.
I set the Performance Partnership up in 1993 whilst I was on that training. We’ve been doing NLP and timeline therapy and hypnosis trainings for the general public and for companies for 18 years. The whole thing came out of the huge impact that that first training had on me in 1993.
It sounds a bit corny now, but my entire life changed during that week. It just took a completely different route. And as I say, the rest is history.
Colin: Just elaborate a little bit more then. Meeting NLP for the first time, it really opening your eyes, and then going away and going on a course. Not a dissimilar story to myself. We’re finding NLP and hypnosis and really beginning to understand the impact that it can have, but what things did it change for you? What exactly were some of the shifts that it made for you?
David: I think the first bit that I got from NLP was how to effectively communicate with people, how to build rapport with them easily and quickly, and the workings of the conscious mind and the unconscious mind. Being a fairly conscious individual, being from an IT background, software engineer, living in the world of logic and rationality and analysis, I realized the natural fact that that wasn’t the end all and the be all of things. In fact, it was just he tip of the iceberg, I think, really. There was this whole thing that was underneath of that you could learn to communicate with effectively, whether it was in business or personal relationships or family or anything like that.
Then from the timeline therapy point of view… Before that I just thought that life was about collecting baggage. There would be big significant emotional events that would happen to you in your life. That was just the way it is. My biggies, I think, were my dad dying. My dad died quite young. He died about 25 years ago now, I think. So he died when I was about 22‑23. I was very close to him. That had a huge emotional impact on me, which I must admit now that I didn’t really cope with very well, but I was very good at hiding it.
Then my marriage ended in divorce. As a result of that I basically went back to zero. I lost the house, the car, the works. I didn’t cope with that very well either, I have to admit, but I was very good at hiding it. I’m from Mansfield and the heard that “big boys don’t cry” caricature.
I just thought that this was something you had to learn to cope with. Every now and again, it would flare up, but I’d manage to do it somewhere in private and not let other people know. In the space of an afternoon, with the timeline therapy portion of the practitioner training, all of that had gone! All the anger had gone, sadness gone, fear gone, hurt gone, guilt gone in the space of an afternoon. I was just awestruck.
I also had a phobia of bees and wasps. That went in the space of 15 minutes. I seemed to get rid of that with me, because we spent a lot of time outside in Southern California. There were bees and wasps everywhere.
Then I thought hypnosis was just the stuff I’d seen on the TV, stage hypnosis, having people think they were Elvis or a think they’re a washing machine on heat or think the broom was a gorgeous man or woman that they’re dancing with. I realized that there was a huge power in the unconscious mind that went way beyond any of that, even to the point where I used timeline therapy and hypnosis to heal up my own eyesight so that I didn’t need to wear glasses anymore.
It was just quite unbelievable. I didn’t know this existed. The majority of other people didn’t know it existed. Even from reading Tony Robbins’ book, which is what got me started, even from reading that I hadn’t quite grasped really what the awesome power of Neuro‑Linguistic Programming and Timeline Therapy and Hypnosis really was. That’s why I just changed my idea of what I was going do overnight, and just thought, “This is where it’s at. This is what I want to do.”
Colin: Brilliant, fantastic. Thank you. For those that maybe don’t know that much about NLP that are listening right now, in northern layman’s terms, which I love about your trainings, is you’re very down to earth…
David: Its all about you Colin. That’s the thing!
Colin: What is NLP? How would you describe it?
David: I think one of the best definitions that I’ve come across is “the difference that makes the difference.” I’m quite often asked, “OK, so what’s the difference that makes the difference between somebody who’s brilliant at regular life or somebody who’s massively successful?” I say, “Who do you count as being massively successful?” Because, obviously, different people have different ideas about what success is.
David: But there’s the usual names in the frame ‑ Richard Branson, Steve Jobs, those kind of people. I don’t know those people, but I do know some people who’ve worked for them. What is the difference that makes the difference? Well, we’ve all got the same nervous system, we’ve all got the same brain, we are all born with the same capabilities, so it must be something else.
What NLP does is it really uses this thing called modeling, which is where NLP was born from by Bandler and Grinder in the first place, where they went, “OK, let’s find out what the difference is. What is the difference that makes the difference?”
They looked at a number of things. One was what does somebody do with their physical body, which has a huge impact on the way the person is feeling, what mood they’re in. What do they do with their body? How do they use their body when they’re communicating with other people?
David: How do they structure their language when they’re communicating with the other people? And also, what do they do inside of here? When they’re doing these most excellent behaviors enabling them to get the phenomenal results, what do they run in their mind? What pictures do they see? What sounds do they hear? What feelings do they have? What self‑talk do they run?
The ultimate test of the model, then, is to then use the model yourself. So start to use your body in the same way that these people do. Start to construct your language in the same way these people do, and start to think in the same patterns ‑ what we call from NLP, the strategies.
What they found was that in a very, very short period of time, they could replicate the results that these models of excellence were creating.
That’s really where NLP came about, which is also why I call it “the difference that makes the difference.” Other people call it “software for the brain.”
David: I think from a computer analogy, which works quite well, we’re all born with the same hardware. It’s still a computer hardware, which has not been replicated by man at this point in time. There isn’t an electronic computer on the planet that can do what we can do with our nervous system.
David: So, how do you upgrade the software? How do you run new programs? If you got a program on your laptop that wasn’t working, you’d delete it and buy a new one. Why not do that with your own software?
David: That’s really, for me, where NLP’s at. One is it teaches you how to run your own brain effectively, but also it teaches you how to communicate with other people’s neurology most effectively, and more importantly, how to communicate with their unconscious mind. Therefore, how do you communicate most effectively with them? How do you influence them most effectively? How do you persuade them most effectively?
Colin: Got it. From my own experience, what hooked me in with NLP was similar to yourself. Just that wow‑ness and that ability to take symptoms that people had had for many, many years and would go into a traditional therapy and be in there for many, many years and still walk out with the same symptom. They’d just talked about it a lot.
Colin: But NLP tackles it and deals with it really fast, with some of the quick-change strategies and stuff. Why do you think NLP is so quick? You’ve been around it for an awful long time now, and it is your life fundamentally, it’s what you do day in and day out. What makes it so fast?
David: I think the thing that makes it most fast is that it’s not therapy. It’s really a training program. So what you do with neuro‑linguistic programming is you actually train someone to use their own mind, use their own brain, to be able to create the result that they want rather than the result that they don’t want. One of the things is with the problems that people have is they do tend to do them absolutely exquisitely.
David: I’ll say, “How long have you had this problem?” “Well, for as long as I can remember.” “And has there ever been a time where you forget to do it?” “No, never.” And sometimes I can’t even remember what day it is, let alone to remember to have my problems. If you think about, even though it’s not creating the result they want, they do it absolutely perfectly. Absolutely exquisitely.
David: And so what I know what NLP does is it just enables you really to use that same hardware to get it to do a different result.
David: The other thing about it, I think, is it puts responsibility totally on the client.
David: It says this thing that you’re doing, this behavior that you’re doing, which is creating a result that you don’t want, ultimately you are doing it. And you’re doing it perfectly.
David: So how about learning how to do a new behavior as perfectly, to get the result that you do want, rather than the result that you don’t want.
Colin: That’s it, yes.
David: And see that’s why it’s quick, because it uses the unconscious mind and the brain or the nervous system’s natural processes to create results. Rather than it being OK I’m the therapist, I can fix you. It’s going I can’t fix you. I can’t do anything.
David: Because you’re doing this. What I can do though is show you how to do something different. So I think that’s why it’s quick.
Colin: Yeah. And as you said before you’re working much more to the unconscious level. Right? And for most of us that’s not a place that we go, because it’s unconscious. We don’t know what we don’t know, right? So it brings that that we don’t know up to a more conscious level. So because this is really targeted around dealing with limiting beliefs and emotional blocks, that the things that really get in the way for many of us, and it’s a continual journey. It’s not something that you do once and that’s it. Right?
Colin: Have you got a sort of nice how‑to or something you can share now that the listener can take away and use immediately to start to undo some of these limiting beliefs and some of these emotional blocks that are getting in the way?
David: Yeah, there’s a couple of things. I mean, now let’s say when I’m working with people with fundamental emotional blocks. Like unresolved anger or sadness or fear or guilt in the past. Or major limiting decisions like I’m not good enough or you know, I’ll never make the kind of money I want or I’ll never get a job or I’ll never have the house I want or the relationship I want. These days I would tend to use interventions like timeline therapy.
David: That requires you to have access to someone one on one for maybe five, six, maybe more hours. Or if we’re doing it in a group setting then three days. I think the important thing really, and the thing that I use all the time, is what do you do if you come across a limiting belief when you’re in the middle of something?
David: Now as you say this is a continual thing, it’s not a matter of going and getting fixed, then your life is gonna be absolute nirvana forever on.
David: It’s not like that. It’s like OK, now you’ve got some new strategies, you’ve got some new ways of being, and you know, life’s life and shit happens.
David: That’s just one of those things.
Colin: That’s very northern.
David: Yes it is. Maybe that’s the great north south divide. Maybe in the north shit happens. You know? Maybe in the south it doesn’t.
Colin: Yeah, it’s all good. Yeah.
David: Maybe I imported it. Yeah, I don’t know.
David: But sort of what happens in the moment; I might be doing a presentation or training, and I might have a limiting belief come up.
David: It’s not the time to do some timeline therapy and stuff. Or when you’re sitting in the car waiting to go to your big important business meeting, or whatever. So what I’ve come up with is what I call belief buster questions. Questions that you can ask yourself that can have the potential of having that limiting belief disappear.
David: But at the very least will start to sow the seeds of doubt.
David: As in, imagine if very very quickly you could start to doubt whether this major limiting belief you had was true or not.
Colin: Yeah, perfect. Perfect, because I have a little strap line which I say, “Doubt your doubt, not your dream.”
David: Yeah, exactly.
Colin: So perfect.
David: I mean, if you want to, we could do a little demonstration light, if you like, so that people can hear the questions but also see how they work.
Colin: Sure. Yeah.
David: So, I mean, even after you’ve been doing NLP’s since the early ’90′s, do you have any limiting beliefs Colin?
Colin: Yes, yeah. Of course I do. I have plenty. I have a list of them. Yes.
Colin: I’m seeing each one of these experts as personal therapy, actually. It’s great!
David: Get it for free. Whilst you can!
David: Whilst adding value. So the way these questions work. I got this analogy from… I don’t think it was Unlimited Power, but I think it was from Awaken the Giant Within. Which was the analogy of a belief in like a tabletop. And it has legs. And each of these legs is a reference experience. An experience that you had and you decided at that moment in time what that reference experience meant.
David: I think a great example Tony Robbin’s uses in that book is he goes to interview a guy who is on death row because he’s been found guilty of murder. Robbin’s sits with him and goes OK, you know, you’re on death row, ultimately you are going to be killed. He said so what happened? What was your life’s experiences that wound you up here? And the guy goes, what do you think? My father was an alcoholic. He was a drug addict. He used to beat my mum. He used to beat my brothers and sisters all the time. What do you expect? Of course I’m going to turn out to be an alcoholic drug addict myself. And eventually wind up murdering somebody, and being found guilty, and be imprisoned on death row.”
And you’re like, “If that happened to me, I think I could find myself in the same place.”
Then he goes and does another interview with another guy, and this guy is the epitome of the American dream: a very successful businessman, wealthy, family, massive house, cars in the drive, the whole thing. And he says “You’ve done very, very well in your life. What were the life experiences that you had that wound you up here?”
And the guy goes, “Well, what do you expect? My dad was an alcoholic drug addict. He used to beat my mum all the time. He used to beat my brothers and sisters. What do you expect? Of course I’m going to change things, and I’m going to become successful and look after my kids and wife and all this kind of stuff.”
This is when you discover that the two people he has been interviewing are brothers.
So a great example of the fact it’s not what happens to us in our life, it’s the decision that we make about what these experiences mean. So what these questions enable you to do is start asking questions about the legs on the table, about the experiences that you’ve had in the past, if not only, possibly to knock all the legs out, but at least to make the table shaky and giddy so that the certainty that you had about that belief is replaced by a doubt which can then get stronger and stronger and stronger into the future.
That’s just a little bit about how it works, just for the people who are watching this. Are you willing to share one of these limiting beliefs with us so that we can test it out?
Colin: Yes. It’s one to do with presenting, and especially presenting new content, standing up for the first time and presenting new content, and always that little doubt that’s there around, “What if I can’t remember what I’m supposed to be saying?” It’s very different when you’ve delivered something a few times and it’s just so easy to get into the zone, but new content, and I’m delivering a lot of new content, and although I get through it, I always get through it, there is that doubt that’s there that could get called out anytime. There has been situations where I have completely forgotten what it was that I’m supposed to be talking about next, and I’ve got my little strategies to get me out of that and stuff, as probably we all do. It would be good to talk around that, and just explore that in a little bit more detail.
David: OK. So the issue is about whether you’re able to remember everything when you’re presenting?
Colin: Yes. New content. It’s to do with the enhanced doubt that seems to be present at that time more than any other time around “you might forget, what if you forget?” It’s not new content.
David: So you have an enhanced doubt about whether you can remember the new content.
Colin: Correct. [laughs]
Colin: I’m already entranced. I’m there.
David: So how would you know that that doubt wasn’t true, as you think about it now?
Colin: How would I know?
David: How many ways could you know that that doubt about being able to remember all the new content wasn’t true?
Colin: How many ways? Well, just based on past experience, it’s based on maybe six or seven times standing up and having the “I’ve stood up and my brain sat down”‑type moment.
David: Right, so that’s how you know that that is true, that doubt is true. But how many ways at this moment in time could you know that’s it’s not true?
Colin: [laughs] I don’t even know how to answer that question. [laughs]
David: So you used to have doubts, yeah?
Colin: I used to have doubt.
David: So, how, right in this moment right now, how could you know that the doubts about being able to remember the new content you present aren’t true? That in actual fact, how many ways do you know that you could remember the new content?
Colin: [pause] Plenty of ways.
David: All right. Can you give plenty of ways? How many specific ways?
Colin: Well, I could use strategies like a mind map, for instance, that would help, or a simple memory pegging technique that would help in aiding the memorizing of new content. That’s two. A simple crib sheet in front of me.
David: And how long does it take for new content to become old? I’m just curious.
Colin: Delivered three, four times.
David: Oh right. Actually, in front of a live audience or just in your mind?
Colin: I was thinking more in front of a live audience.
David: So what’s the difference a live audience makes?
Colin: I’d say. . .
David: Could you have something that you’ve known for years and years and years but, you’re presenting for the first time would that be new or would that be old?
Colin: It would still be new in the context of in front of a group. There’s an interesting dynamic of standing up in front of a group. You can be telling a story in a pub with your mates, and there’s maybe six or seven people that rock up. Then, all of a sudden, more and more people rock up. So there’s that dynamic of standing up in front of an audience that just I think changes things a little bit. There are so many things going on. Being calibrated in that moment to make sure that it’s really good. The content piece that needs to be there can be a bit lost.
David: So, for who isn’t that true?
Colin: What this belief? I don’t know; probably for a number of people it wouldn’t be true.
David: Who specifically wouldn’t it be true for?
Colin: Might not be true for you.
David: Right. Anybody else? This is a unique belief for you to a certain extent.
David: It’s interesting to know what makes you so special that you wouldn’t be able to remember everything in an audience.
Colin: [laughter] I feel so much better already [laughter]
David: Let’s even think about this. So when wasn’t it true for you?
Colin: When wasn’t it true for me? We’ll probably have to go back to real childhood times in order for that to be not true for me. So four, five around. . .
David: This is something you’ve developed as you get older.
Colin: Yes, yes. Having few experiences of standing up in front groups. All of a sudden the content seems to have disappeared.
David: There’s a couple of experiences in the past that had you kind of believe that. Though what experiences have you had of that belief not being true for you? You know, when you presented new material and may not remember it.
Colin: Yeah it’s been a number of times where I have stood up and the content has been there and everything has been absolutely fine and dandy; first time.
David: Great, brilliant. How many times do you think that’s happened?
Colin: Over the 17 or 18 years I’ve been doing this a lot, it’s got to be a lot.
David: So you’d think about it now, in what ways do you know that the old belief isn’t true now?
Colin: As I’m thinking about the old belief there’s nothing there. It’s like there’s ‑‑ I’m trying to grab it and I can’t.
David: You’ve just let it slip through your fingers.
Colin: Yes exactly, that’s exactly the image that I have actually. It’s like soap; I keep trying to grab it. It’s just disappearing, yeah.
David: So let’s flip it over then. So what do you want to believe instead?
Colin: Two things would be good to have I think. One, that it’s totally OK to stand up, delivering new content and lose your way; it’s absolutely fine to do that. Secondly, that I do have the ability‑‑if I put the effort and energy in‑‑to remember the content to such a degree that I can deliver it.
David: Great, so you got those two new beliefs. It’s OK to stand up for the new content and not necessarily not do absolutely perfect as planned. I have a strategy, which I will share with you in a minute. If you spend the time memorizing it using mind maps I think you mentioned, memory pegs, those kind of things that you’ll remember it anyway. So in how many ways do you know those beliefs are already true?
Colin: Because I’ve already experienced in my life those beliefs driving my behavior. So I know they are truth. I know that they do exist.
David: Cool. So, lets just test this out. So can you imagine a time in the future which, had it happened in the past, would have caused you to have those old doubts about whether you could remember everything easily, and notice how it’s different now.
Colin: [pause] Yup.
David: How’s it different?
Colin: [pause] There’s just a feeling of confidence.
David: Cool. Brilliant. Now then so, cool, that belief’s shifted then quite substantially.
Colin: Yup, it feels very different.
David: So now lets put a strategy in on top of that. I just love this, and I can’t believe that I didn’t think about it before, but when I got it I went, “whoa.” Here’s the reason why that belief you said, it’s OK to stand up in front of a group of new people and share some new material for the first time, and for you not to remember it absolutely perfectly. And here’s the fundamental reason why that’s OK. There is only you, you’re the only person in the room that knew what you had planned. So what you do is, when it comes out and it’s not what you had planned, you just act as if it was what you had planned.
David: And I got that from my friend Steve McDermott Europe motivational speaker of the year, I’ve done a lot of modeling work with. And he’s modeled a lot of stand up comedians. And, you know, his question for a lot of stand up comedians was, he’s thinking one of the worst experiences must be telling the joke to an audience and they don’t think it’s funny. So he said, “how do you test out your new material?” The comedians, all of them said the same thing: you use some material which you know works, you then put in the new material which you don’t know because you’ve never done it before, and then you have some material that you do know that’s coming directly after it. If the new material you use doesn’t make anybody laugh, then act as if it wasn’t meant to be funny in the first place.
David: And then move on to the next piece.
Colin: That you know is going to be funny.
David: Yeah. Wow, it’s your ultimate get out of jail free card as a presenter.
Colin: Love it. Brilliant. Thank you. Now those questions that you just covered with me, I will take those questions and I will put them in the blog post. So they will be on this blog post, because for you it’s very natural to have to questions to hand, but I think it will be very useful for the listeners to have those questions. So we’ll get those.
David: And, you know, I asked you the questions, and what you can do, the way I use them personally, is I asked myself the questions.
David: And it starts to knock the… it’s like bowling a bowling ball at the legs of a table.
Colin: Oh, it is. You can feel it. Absolutely I had that sense of, very quickly, what was the belief? What was I going on about? Because it does wipe those legs from under the table top pretty quick. And then new legs can come in, new beliefs start to be established. So as we start to wrap up then, David, what would you say are some of the real benefits, some of the ways the NLP can help people beyond, maybe, limiting beliefs and emotional blocks? What are some of the things that you’ve personally helped? Because I know that you do personal coaching, you do group coaching, motivational speaking. So what are some of the things that your clients have come to you with and NLP has been brilliant for?
David: Right across the board, one of the things I’ve been working on, which I think really takes this stuff out to the limit and has really been a huge learning experience for me over the last 12 to 18 months, is a charity which I’m involved in, which is the Warrior Program. And the Warrior Program is for ex‑service people that, as a result of their experiences that they had during their serving, they have a number of different issues, whether it be post‑traumatic stress disorder, whether it be anxiety disorders, whether it be depression, whether it be drugs, alcohol, etc. And what’s happened is that their life, essentially, is gone off the rails. And the Warrior Program is a three day program using NLP and timeline therapy techniques, which enable these people to let go of the emotional blocks, and let go of the limiting beliefs. Because many of them believe that nothing can be done, essentially, there’s no hope.
And for many of them that come to the Warrior Program we are kind of like last chance saloon, and they’re very open about that. And it’s been a real extreme learning experience for me, around using NLP and timeline therapy with groups of people like this.
They’re also a hugely humbling experience, because a lot of my clients come to me because they want to live the dream, they want to be a millionaire, they want the big house, they want the fast cars, they want the phones, etc. And that’s totally OK for them to want to do that, and I work with them to be able to do that. But these guys, their goals are getting a good night’s sleep, getting their relationship back on track.
I had one guy and his big goal this would make the whole three days worthwhile, was to be able to take his wife out for dinner in public because of his anxiety, et cetera. He hadn’t taken his wife out to a restaurant in twelve years. And as a result of doing the warrior program, he achieved his goal. He’s got a job that he loves. So my thing is I go “If NLP and Time Line therapy techniques can do that,” then the rest of it is real kind of like child’s play.
So there are the emotional blocks and the limiting beliefs stuff, which it’s brilliant for, but then there are the skills that it can teach you. As I said when I decided that I wanted to do this for a living, but I had a real experience for the first firewalk seminar that I ran that I was an absolutely crap presenter. Dreadful. I mean embarrassingly bad.
So now everything that I do from the stage, I learn through my studies of NLP. I couldn’t sell for toffee so I learned how to sell but not only learning how to sell I love selling now, things also. A very important thing to being an effective salesperson.
So also skills around relationships, the importance of individual values and beliefs in relationships. Things like attraction strategies, recognizing attraction strategies, dealing with love strategies. I think how people create negative associations, what we call in NLP ‘Anchors” in relationships, they can learn not only how to get rid of them but then to actually create positive anchors in relationships.
How to work with kids so that… I didn’t get rid of my dyslexia until my practitioner training in 1993. I can remember… If I was at school today, rather than the 60′s, I’d have been diagnosed with dyslexia and attention deficit disorder, and all that kind of stuff. Instead I was just diagnosed as being thick. They didn’t invent it in that point in time. So working with kids but just teaching parents how to work with their kids so that their kids can have an experience and find it easy to learn.
If you look at what’s been happening in the UK, just over the last couple of nights, kids out in the street, looting and all this kind of stuff, you see interviews with a lot of them and they just go “Well I haven’t got any hope.” I think that NLP and Time Line Therapy, when applied in the right way, can give people that hope back or even to reclaim their hope.
So it really is the model of excellence. So if you want the model of excellence for learning and education, we’ve got it. If you want the model of excellence for enabling people to get rid of their emotional blocks and limiting beliefs, we’ve got it. If you want the model of excellence for enabling people to achieve goals rather than just set them we’ve got it. If you want the model of excellence for relationships then it’s there. Whatever it may be.
Colin: Brilliant. Fantastic. And lastly, if you could give a link or something to the person that’s listening to this as to where to go to and what sort of information they can get, that would be fantastic. So what’s the best web link for them?
David: The best link would be my company’s Website. So if you go to http://www.performancepartnership.com, there are options on there. I’ve got a free CD available which is an introduction to Neuro‑Linguistic Programming, which goes through similar techniques that we’ve just been mentioning. Not just in theory, there are some techniques on that free CD that you can actually go out and use immediately. I think people start to realize the value of NLP when they can actually do it rather than just understand it. Also by getting the free CD you’ll also get onto our database. We have quarterly, three events in a series called “Let’s make 2011 our best year yet”. And we have a different theme for each one. We just did one on “Let’s make 2011 our best business year yet”. And they’re free. And that’s a four-hour seminar with me. And I go to people “I think anybody could benefit from NLP.”
But they don’t know what it is and they don’t know how they can do it. So let’s teach some people some simple things that they can go away and use straight away so that they can experience the personal value in it.
Colin: Perfect. Thank you very much. I’ll make sure that that link is also below as well so you just can click onto it to go to that. So David, thank you very much for your time today and your wisdom. And for taking us into NLP a little bit deeper. I always enjoy conversations we have and your humor. [laughs] Goodbye for now. Thank you very much.
David: Bye everyone. Thanks, Colin.