Posted on May 13th, 2010 by Colin and is posted in Relationships
This is a blog post by Debbie Kessler
The business of life, the 9-5 job, the babies that need rocking, the clothes that need washing, the supper dishes, the yard work…takes your attention and zaps your energies which results in dulling your sexiness. Spending more time and energy trying to wrestle life manageable leaves you thinking and possibly spewing out your mouth: “not tonight!”
Your lover is now questioning your sexual desire and their ability to please you. Men and women both face this questioning. If this happens time and time again then a sexy vibrating relationship will dry up and the “love life” will suffer.
Sometimes it is easy to doubt if our “love life” problems will ever improve. If men and women blame each other for the problems, then a solution will likely never surface.
The NUMBER ONE (False) assumption spouses have about improving the sex in their marriage is their spouse is different.
That assumption is wrong.
Time and time again–after one learns how to make
sex fun, instead of a chore, and how to please their
spouse–REALLY please their spouse–something amazing
Their spouse changes!
Suddenly–their spouse isn’t avoiding sex. They are initiating it.
Now, instead of “barely being there”–their spouse is truly “into it.”
And the reason this happens is really very simple. We are motivated by pleasure and success.
When there isn’t much of either in the bedroom…no one (including your
spouse) is going to be motivated. No one is desiring to be frustrated or a failure.
But…when we start to experience pleasure and success…and fun…
we want more.
It is that simple!
So…you should highly consider TRYING to change things before you give up on them…
Both men and women can learn to be seductive. Seduction is simple displaying all your good parts in a very alluring package. This display can be done in various different manners. It can simply start by the way you carry your body. The way you smile as you look at each other. Try little loving gestures of kindness. Linger a little longer by his side. Look at her lovingly before you kiss her goodbye. If you start thinking desire and seduction you will be desirous and seductive. Sexiness starts in the mind, first.
Desire and Seduction work together. We must learn how both these powerful feelings work in ourselves and our mates. You want to be desirous to your lover. You want your lover to turn you on. These powerful forces can be your ally in fighting the bedroom boredoms.
Take the time and energy to invest in your love life by thinking sexy, by reading godly articles and books about sexuality. Both you and your mate will start to see boredom in the bedroom change to desire and fulfillment.
Written by Coach Debbie Kessler, Christian Life Coach. To learn sexy tips for enhancing your marriage join her free membership site Girly Curves Lingerie & More. For great books and teaching podcasts visit HappyMarriage4us.